We're "night owls," the people who stay up late, and aren't "morning people,"
but i'm thinking now that the term is stupid. Like its opposition is a day owl.
Do day owls even exist? If a day owl exists, then it's just the opposite of a
regular owl. Because regular owls are nocturnal. Calling something a night owl
is like calling something a water fish, or a legless snake. Legless snakes can
sometimes be eye seen slithering through green grass, and basking on a stone
rock, enjoying the daytime light of the day sun.
Early birds and night owls. It should be early birds and late birds, or early
birds and LATER birds, which i like more than late birds, which i don't really
like all that much, actually, though "later birds" almost makes me laugh a tiny
laugh. A-people (larks, or DAY LARKS) and B-people (later birds) sounds too
clinical for me. Plus it doesn't tell you anything. You have to know that A
means early and B means late, which makes it useless. A and B could be
anything. It could be vertiveness, as in Extro and Intro, or it could be
handedness. i don't want to assume what A and B mean, even if i know what A and
B mean. What do X and Y mean? In math, it could be anything. So A and B could
be anything.
A something something, such as Night Owl, gives you an idea of what someone is
actually talking about. Like "a ham sandwich." i know from this that you're
talking about a sandwich, and it's predominantly ham-based. Still, Night Owl is
like calling that sandwich "a pork ham bread sandwich." If Larks are day owls,
why aren't Later Birds called "Bats," then? Larks and Bats. Or just Larks and
Owls, really. I tend to like bats a little more, probably because Batman was
cooler than Owlman when i was a kid, and also because Bats are mammals. See,
they're mammals and have hair, and they come out at night, and that makes me
think of the morlocks, who live underground in the dark and also have hair.
More hair, i think, than people on the surface. At least, that's how i
remember them looking in the movie. So morlocks - underground - caves - dark -
night - hair = bats, if you're trying to keep up with my equation.
But then there's, for me, a problem with saying "I'm an owl." Actually, i take
that back... it makes me laugh. So, imagine meeting me, and a conversation
about sleeping or mornings or something comes up, and i just say "I'm an owl,"
and then i start laughing a weird, self-amused laugh, because it's often the
little things that amuse me, but you don't know that, so you think i'm high, or
possibly some degree of crazy, and then maybe you stay away from me. Which is
fine, anyway, because i don't need you around. But there's still a problem with
saying "I'm an owl." Maybe. Saying 'i'm a night owl," makes more sense, even
though it's silly and redundant and doesn't make much sense.
Saying "i'm a lark," though, isn't silly in the same way. It sort-of makes
sense, although it makes me start thinking about meadow larks, and then
Meadowlark Lemon, who's a born again Christian i saw on teevee once talking
about god at 4am, and also about doing things as a lark, which isn't the same as
a bird... and then, when i snap back to the present moment, you're no longer
standing there, and maybe 10 minutes have passed. If you said "i'm a lark," i'd
probably know what you meant, though more people would probably say "i'm an
early bird." But you wouldn't say "i'm a night bird." Even though it makes the
most sense.
Maybe a Night Crawler? That would work. Though it then seems like A-people
could eat B-people, like B-people are inferior and wormlike, and A-people are
awesome and birds and can fly and sing and kick ass while the rest of us wriggle
around in corpses and eat and poop dirt. Even still, it sounds better than
night owl, even though "day crawler" isn't really a term anyone uses... doesn't
matter. Early birds and Night crawlers, right? i think so, for the moment.
While Night Owls are cooler than Night Crawlers, because owls are spooky and
neat... wait, maybe "Regular Owls." Early birds and Regular Owls? Do we even
need to use "Night" to define the situation? If someone says "i'm an early
bird," and you say "oh, not me, i'm a _______________," we probably don't need
the "night" to define how you're not an "early" wotever, since you established
you're "early," which defines Time. i'm leaning toward Regular Owl, now. Or
"Regulowl," if you will (but you probably won't).
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